ENTWINED
Experiencing a day on the streets of a fast
growing metropolis wasn’t that easy. Taking a tour on Church Street and Museum
Road, we sensed contrasting personas – where some accepted change and some
resisted. However, warmth curls into
each and every corner of the streets we walked down to. What surprised us was the fact that the area has
been expanding at a swift pace on all doorways – The
two streets boast of trendy boutiques, up-and coming restaurant scene and a pub
culture. Adding, these are lands of religious harmony, mutual tolerance and
vast inter-religious cultural heritage. We got soaked into this fresh, bright
cosmopolitan feel of the city.
Walking on the church street, a beautiful pink
kurta grabbed our attention underground and that was how we came across
pilgrims, 6 months old, where urban form blends with rural and traditional
taste - Kurtas with Kalamkari print, overcoats with block prints, bell-bottom
pajamas. Priyanka the owner of the store, of Kerala origin, made friends with
the city a year ago. She was nearly our age and was also familiar to Srishti
to an extent as her parents were living in Yelahanka. She enjoyed talking to us
and was frank enough on sharing her views and personal experiences of
Bangalore. A piece of her mind talks about Koshy’s being a meeting point for
journalist, artist, theatre people, students and foreigners. In contrary K.C.
Das caters to a very ordinary group of people. Her clients were mainly
the people who had come to Koshy’s or K.C. Das and were walking back down the
same lane.
Where as, K.C Das, a chai place in Calcutta since 125
years, rooted a unit in Bangalore in the year 1972. A blend of not just varied
customers but also a fused ambience of modern and vintage. Rusted long necked
fans and hanging menu cards on the wall with the rate list makes it look hoary.
Whereas, in contrast, tables are single piece granites, fancy inverted glass
shaped lamps, air conditioners; modern art works on the wall by anonymous
people gives it a present feel. It looks as if the shop has been modernized just
for the sake of competition in the market as its renovated half way.
Eventually, three levels of renovation occurred. First, was the makeover of the
one small shop they bought. Second, an adjacent shop was merged. Third and
final was a level they build on the base. Initially, there were no tables and
chairs but eventually, they added it for the convenience of the consumers.
Moreover, for serving tea, plastic tumbles were used. However, due to consumer
hygiene issues they changed it to plastic cups. According to us, stabilizing
the essence of vintage keeps the old crowd fascinated.
1 : Opening paragraph could be rather more grasping leading us to the what the piece is about because it still speaks about the feel of the place which is prominent in the other paragraphs too .
ReplyDelete2. The way they've tried to paint a picture in our minds is interesting because of the detailing ( tables are single piece granites, fancy inverted glass shaped lamps, air conditioners; modern art works on the wall) but the
vocabulary could be improved in terms of using more vivid and minimal words rather than using direct adjectives .
-Noopur,Urvika and Midushi
Noopur Urvika and Midhushi - you were each asked to write comments separately and given 5 questions on which to respond. Please follow instructions and do the comments individually and in enough detail. For an example please read my comments to Mallika, Ruchir and Mehak. These comments are not enough.
ReplyDeleteYou have attempted to create a 'word- picture' of the place through your use of descriptive vocabulary. To further develop the piece think about the following questions:
ReplyDeleteWhat is the central idea?
What is it that you want the reader to feel by the end?
What message are you giving them?
These questions will not only help you develop the opening paragraph but also the entire piece.
You need to be more careful in sentence construction. Some of the sentences do not make sense. For instance,
"What surprised us was the fact that the area has been expanding at a swift pace on all doorways" What do you mean by "on all doorways". Isn't it enough to say "The area has been expanding at a swift pace."
Similarly what do you mean by "A piece of her mind talks about Koshy’s being a meeting point for journalist, artist, theatre people, students and foreigners."
"A piece of her mind" doesn't make sense. Isn't it enough to say, "She said that Koshy’s is a meeting point for journalists, artists, theatre people, students and foreigners."
You need to to a lot more research as you have some facts wrong and many of the important institutions (book shops, magazine shops, restaurants) have not been represented in you piece.
KC Das is definitely not a chai place but a sweet shop.
You need to talk about Blossoms, The Only Place, Empire and perhaps one or two other places such as Queen's restaurant, or Amoeba and definitely the magazine vendor near KC Das. Even if the proprietors of these establishments are busy, try to speak customers coming out of these places. Ask them what they like about these places and about Church Street in general.
Visit Resthouse road and Rest house crescent and include these in your piece as well.
If you want to include Koshy's, St Mark's Church and the LIC building that's fine. Again the LIC staff might be too busy to talk but you can always write about the architecture of the building. Use the letter of introduction that college gave you.
Finally you should read Janaki Nair's short article on growing up in Church Street which is in the book Multiple City edited by Aditi De (in the library).